100 Thoughts I Had Whilst Watching OITNB Season 3

It was a moment I had been anticipating since finishing season 2 all those moth ago - "new episodes available" - Orange Is The New Black Season THREE!
Now if you are like me you would have finished the 13 episodes already..... because that was how Netflix was intended to be watched - binge binge binged. 
It took me less than a week to watch the 13 hours or so of prison action and after a few conversations with you lot over on twitter I thought I would share with you all my thoughts throughout the season......so here is 100 things I thought whilst I was on my binge this week.

(These are not in any form of order)

SPOILERS AHEAD - obviously.

1. Damn... I forgot how long this intro is.
2. Kinda catching though isn't it? ..........THE ANIMAL, THE ANIMAL!
3. Ahhhh Lichfield I've missed you and your lesbian-action ways!
4. Okay - do I remember everyone's name?
5. Hell nope. So many Latinas.

6. I really should have watched Season 2 again before starting this.
7. Oooo pregnant girl is still pregnant, surely she'll be popping that out soon? #prisonbaby
8. Shit I wonder how Larry is.... I bet he's doing well. 
9. Bennett's back-story YES! He's shirtless and dancing lol. His pecks are strangely large.

10. So many of these inmates have kids - what seriously bad parents.
11. LET CRAZY EYES FLY HER KITE. #TeamSusan
12. Where the hell is Piper?

13. Like, is Piper not the main character anymore?
14. YES Alex F**king Vause. I'm so team Pipex.
15. FFS Nikki has gone to max. Nikki is the best. I miss Nikki.
16. An inmate literally left her baby outside a portaloo on the floor - on the floor.
17. Okay what is this Norma obsession?
18. She's pissing me off - she doesn't even speak. Maybe that's why she's in it so much so they don't have to pay so much for the actors. Non-speaking roles get less right?
19. SAY SOMETHING.

20. So many cults. No wonder they are in prison and so effed up.
21. What's with the Jew obsession this season?
22. I don't trust this grey-haired Ellen look-a-like ... she's twtichy as hell.
23. Pipex is ON. In the library, on.
24. and off again. Dammit.

25. WAIT. WHO IS THIS AUSTRALIAN ANGEL.

26. Christ she is beautiful. Are her tattoos real? Her face is literally perfect.
27. Well.... she's naked. Full on naked. Nice.
28. Piper are going you to cheat on Alex? Surely not? You wouldn't?

29. Bitch you did!
30. Haha they are making them make pants as a job.
31. Loving all the back stories, although I miss Piper & Alex being the focus I do admit.
32. Pennsatucky is just a lost little girl isn't she? 
33. Awww she's found love! I'm so happy for her - go feed the ducks! .....
34. ..... ffs he just raped her. F**k you doughnut prick.
35. LOL they are going to shove a broomstick up his ass? *crying lol emoji*

36. HOLD ON a god damn minute, Bennett really isn't coming back is he?
37. What a little pussy - how dare he! I trusted him! He made her a gum wrapper ring and everything!
38. That baby has no chance.
39. Can Healy & Red just get it on already?
40. Morello is bloody bonkers and I love her.
41. Crazy Eyes is writing a kinky book. This is hilarious.

42. omg is Crazy Eyes going to get a girlfiend?
43. OPEN the damn broom closet door!!!!
44. omg is Ellen look-a-like is here to kill Alex?! THAT WAS HER NOTEBOOK.
45. I believe you Alex!
46. Piper is staring a dirty pantie buisness - What happened to you Piper?
47. EWWWWW the fake discharge they are making with tuna - gross much?
48. This is something you should never watch with your parents. Like ever.
49. These new prison guards are just ridiculous. WHO hired them?
50. What's with this TV chef? I literally thought it was Red at first!
51. I still miss Nikki.
52. Oh shit they totally killed Christopher!
53. I never thought I would like Pennsatucky - but I do.... I think it's because of Crossroads. I love you Mimi.
54. Norma toast? Seriously?
55. I'm not sure where this season is going.
56. How many months pregnant is Daya? 11?
57. Sophia is queen.
58. Alex should so get the blue streaks back in her hair.
59. I hate Pornstache - he better not come back for season 4.
60. Piper just get a damn tattoo.

61. Oh Jesus I take it back that is the WORST.
62. I wonder what I'd be like in prison.
63. I would not last long.
64. I still can't believe how big a part Norma has had this season.
65.THE CHICKEN IS BACK!!! I miss those episodes, those were the good old days.
66. Nothing will compare to season 1.
67. The thought of bedbugs has made me itchy.

68. Christ imagine wearing that underwear - all day everyday.
69. I'm so annoyed at meth girl - why didn't you get on the first bus you saw! That was your chance!
70. They've beaten up Sophia. My heart is broken.
71. How long has Piper got left to do? Wasn't it just a year?
72. Oh but then she nearly killed Duggat.... that will get ya longer won't it!
73. She's become a bit of a knob. You're not a crime lord Piper.
74. This season is more about everyone's children. #BoreOff
75. Morello getting married haha - that girl is bat shit crazy.
76. I love the prison guard couple!
77. THEY ARE SINGING LES MIS!!! #amazeballs
78. The names of the episodes crack me up "Finger in the Dyke."
79. Caputo is a good guy.

80. Leanne is so annoying. Can't she just get released already?
81. How much stuff do people hide in prison?! So sneaky and genius!
82. DAYA HAD THE BABY!
83. Oooooo her Mum lied and said the baby died. Is it bad this makes me happy?
84. WHERE IS F*** IS BENNETT?
85. Stella stabbed Piper in the back! What a bitch.
86. Piper got her back - she is SOOOO going to the Shu. (How do you spell shoe? Shu? Shoo?)
87. " I will potato her at a future time" - Oh Susan you cray.
88. So the TV chef is clearly going to be in Season 4.
89. Do we seriously have to wait another year? I'll be 26. 26.
90. I think it every single episode but Piper is literally a blonde Katy Perry. It scares me.
91. What idiot let people take down the fence when they are all outside?

92. THEY ARE RUNNING OUT OF PRISON.
93. Do they think it's like when you're at school and the more people do it the less likely you are to be told off?

94. SHIT. THAT GUY IS IN PRISON AND HE'S AFTER ALEX.
95. WHAT HAPPENED?!
96. They are just loving life in a dirty lake? #fairenough #freedom
97. Is this seriously the ending?
98. Nothing happened this season. Literally nothing.
99. If Nikki isn't back in Season 4 I'm making a formal complaint.
100. I can't believe it's over. again.

What did you think of this season? For me, nothing will top the first season - that is incredible!

Another 10 Annoying Retail Customers

After hearing that you guys totally related to my previous post "10 Annoying Retail Customers" I decided to go and ahead and do another one... because lets face it - the amount of annoying customers is never-ending.

1. Customers that smell
It's funny how they are always the ones who always seem to buy everything BUT deodrant/body spray/soap so it's not like they can't afford it. I do wonder sometimes how and why they have never been told. #youstinky

2. Customers that invade your personal space
Look I'm all up for helping you in your quest for finding "that thing on TV" but please, please keep your god damn distance. You don't need to stand so close, or touch my arm/hand - back off.

3. Customers that try to pull a fast one
Look I know I'm blonde but I am definitely not stupid and trying to return something in the completely opposite condition as to when you bought it is just NOT going to happen. Shoes with mud on the bottom, dresses that smell like detergent.... I've seen it all. Not to mention people who try and get more money back than what they paid for it... just no. Now keep your used item you sucker!

4. Customers that steal things
One of my greatest pet peeves - those god damn shoplifters. I hate you and your five fingered discount.

5. Customers that refuse your help
One of the most frustrating things is seeing a customer who looks lost asking them "Can I help?" them refusing the help and then watching for the next 20 minutes as they carry on  looking round on the definite search for something. 
I know this store like the back of my hand, just ask me.

6. Customers that say "Wake up/Cheer up/It can't be that bad."
There is nothing wrong with standing/sitting at work and daydreaming about what you're going to have for dinner that night. I was FINE until you decided to make an annoying little remark... be gone.

7. Customers that let their kids run around like crazy
This ain't no playpen. Kids are fun but not when they are running round playing silly buggers in the middle of the store, tripping over old ladys and knocking over things! Keep them under control!

8. Customers that ask "Do you work here?"
No I literally wear this uniform and name badge for fun.

9. Customers that ask "Does "insert completely different store that I don't work in" sell it?"
I DON'T KNOW I DON'T WORK THERE!

10. Customers that blame you for something that is totally out of your hands
Power cut, technical difficulties, manager being ill, other customers - yes they are all my fault, please express your extreme anger at me.

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All images found on google images.

10 Annoying Retail Customers

I've worked in retail/ customer service for a long time - and I have seen and experienced the good, the ugly and the god damn awful over the years! Today I thought I'd do a light-hearted post about those types of customers who really grind my gears!

1. The customer that... carries 3 different "bag for life" bags with them but STILL insists they need a plastic carrier bag for their 1 item. 

2. The customer that... tells "what a beautiful day it is" outside. Thanks for that.

3. The customer that... stands way to close to the customer being served. Back off and wait your turn!

4. The customer that... refuses offers. E.g.

 "You have 2 items and they are on 3 for 2, do you want to go and grab another one as it's free?"

 "No."

 "But it's free."

 "No thank you."

5. The customer that... pays for their transaction and THEN questions you about the price.

6. The customer that... comes in 1 minute before closing time.

7. The customer that... reads your name badge and tries to catch you off guard by calling you your name. 

8. The customer that... points out the god damn obvious.

"Ooooo you're really short staffed today."

9. The customer that...  tells you that you are wrong.

10. The customer that... comes to the till with headphones in.

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Recreate Yourself : Wonderland Wigs Krysten Wig

Wonderland Wigs are a fabulous brand that I have had a great relationship with for months - their products have always been such a great quality and the girls there are so lovely it makes me love the brand even more!

Recently the girls challenged me to recreate myself with a wig and accessorise it to the max! With it being Festival season headwear is a must and being at a Festival you can literally get away with anything - that's what I love about them - anything goes!

Wigs are a fab idea for a festivals, although they can get hot you can have a totally different look everyday AND not have to worry about styling your hair each morning - which, when you've been sleeping in a tent all night isn't the most glamorous/easiest of things!

So once my snazzy wig had arrive I started out on a mission to find some cool headwear that I had in my flat to recreate it and give me a completely different look each time! It was so much fun!
This is the Krysten wig* - so strange having a fringe again! I always think they make my face look fatter/rounder... hmmm thought?!
 I just popped my hair into a low bun flat against my head and fitted the wig on over it - literally a 10 second job, so easy and really secure!

What do you think - what's your favourite accessory? 
I have so much fun changing my hair and this is so quick and easy - and super fun!

Are you going to any Festivals this year?

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6 Annoying Things We All Do But HATE Other People Doing : YouTube

There's something a little bit different over on my youtube channel today!
 A bit of a silly life-type video - let me know what you think (good or bad!) and I'd love to know if you can relate to any of the points I make!

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